Hypnotic on my Heart

As you can all probably see, I have changed my blog template a few times in the last 24 hours. I really liked the newsline design I had (it really fit my personality - clean, simple, yet informative, and semi-fun).

This one that I have now it really fun, but I feel it doesn't fit my personality or the topics of my blog.

If anyone knows of anyone or anything that offers fun, fresh and fitting blog templates for free (or relatively cheap) will you please let me know!

Thanks!

Posted by K. Lianne at 1:50 PM | Permalink | Comments

I think I mentioned in here somewhere that I'm applying for a bunch of jobs. Just late last week I sent out just over 30 packets (containing a cover letter, resume, clips, references, etc) to potential employers.

I have since gotten a promising phone call and four promising e-mails. I'm really excited. Next week (I think Thursday - still waiting to hear back from him), I have an interview at Small Daily Newspaper.

Pros of working for Small Daily Newspaper (SDN):
1. It's a cops and courts reporting beat - which is what I want to do
2. It's a paying job
3. It's in Michigan, so I can still see my family and friends (it's only 2 hours away)
4. It's in Michigan, so I can still go see Tiger's games easily
5. It sounds like a place where I would really get to find my niche and be allowed to write really enterprising stories, find my own investigations and follow my heart.
6. It's not owned by a huge media conglomerate, so I would be able to work there without big boss men telling me what I have to do, how much I get paid, and constantly fearing my job
7. It's a daily newspaper

Con of working for SDN:
1. It's really small (circ: 7,500 - which is about 1/5 the size of the Daily newspaper I interned at - and have a pretty good chance at getting job at if there is an opening)
2. I sent out over 30 resumes, so I don't want to commit to something and get a call from a larger daily who wants to hire me and have to leave
3. I hope they either a. want to hire me after graduation in May or b. want to hire me now and can work around my school schedule which is Tuesday and Thursday mornings - so it's not too bad.
4. It's really small.

So we'll see what happens with that. He's supposed to be getting back to me as to where and exactly when he wants to meet up, so I'll keep you posted as far as my progress goes. Wish me luck.

Labels: jobs, nervous, sdn, small daily newspaper, working

Posted by K. Lianne at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

Being a college student, I get almost a month off from school, and therefore, work - because I work for the college newspaper. This break. Is. Killing. Me.

I hate having nothing to do. My parents own their own automotive training company, so I'm working there (or here - seeing as how that's where I am right now) a few days a week to pay the bills and to have something to do during the day. But other than that, it's been nothing but movies and bars and nights out or days shopping with friends and, occasionally, my mom or sister.

It's killing me. Really it is. I went from being so busy that I could only afford 4-5 hours of sleep per night, between school full time, working at the newspaper, working at my parent's place to help them out and freelancing with the Daily Newspaper, to this - read: nothing.

It's horrible. I love having the time off, and I really like the fact I've been able to sleep in or go out late at night. But I hate having NOTHING to do.

For the first time in over 2 years, a few minutes ago I checked EVERYONE'S away messages on my AIM buddy list. And I mean EVERYONE'S! Usually I check to see where a few of my peeps are, but this time I checked EVERYONE'S.

It really made me feel like I was back up north. I went to a university up north for 2.5 years until I came back downstate to where I am now.

When I went to the univ. up north, I was bored all the time. Not just one month out of the year, like I am now - but all the time. I had a job that I worked at for maybe 15 hours a week and I went to school full time, but none of my classes started before noon and all of my friends were lame.

I'm from a large metropolitian area. So down here, there are a lot of things to do and place to go and people to see. Up there, my friends' ideas ofa fun night was playing cards, drinking and playing the guitar. That was fun for a while, but I was ALWAYS bored - and miserable. I was so unhappy there. I wasn't myself and I felt like I wasn't living. I felt like a nobody.

So I moved down here, got a life, proceeded to become horribly busy and never looked back. I am finally happy. But now, I'm bored. And miserable. I hate being idle. It makes me feel useless, and I hate it. It's bringing back memories of being up north, and I'm getting depressed.

I can't wait for school/work to start again - 6 days and counting.

Posted by K. Lianne at 1:22 PM | Permalink | Comments

For my avid readers, all one of you, I have updated my blogroll. I think there are some really entertaining blogs on there and urge you all to check them out.

Speaking of other blogs. Do you guys know Post Secret? Everyone in my life loves Post Secret (if you haven't heard of it, check out the link). The thing is, no one talks about it. Here's an example of how the conversation goes most of the time:

Me: Have you visited Post Secret?
Other person: Oh yeah, I love that Web site.
Me: Yeah, some of the things are crazy, but a lot of them make me cry
OP: Yeah, totally.

Here's how the conversation should, really, go:

Me: Have you visited Post Secret?
OP: Oh yeah, I love it.
Me: Do you have any secrets like the ones on there?
OP: Yeah, I've really been wanting to tell someone and it's been tearing me up inside.
Me: Oh wow. My secret is:

But is that the way it ever goes? No. And I'm just as guilty of everyone else.

But here is the real question: Why are people so afraid to let people see the real, truthful, naked (well, not really naked, but bare) selves? Why is it so hard? Why do we keep secrets and why do we lie? We do it to make ourselves look better and cooler.

Oh yeah, I totally hooked up with her.
or I'm afraid to tell him I love him.
or Yeah, I'm cool, I'm going to this totally hip party this weekend. I hear Jo Lo is gonna stop by.

Why? Firstly, do we seriously think people believe us? We know you didn't hook up with her, we know you love him, and we know all your doing this weekend is sitting on your lazy ass. Why do we bother?

Does thinking that other people think we're cool make us feel better about ourselves? In that case, it's more of lying to ourselves, and I don't know about you guys, but I know I'm not half as cool as I try to get people to think and I don't want to pretend anymore.

My New Year's resolution is to stop lying/keeping secrets about myself. Little white lies (no buddy, you haven't gained 10 pounds) are alright. But this year, I won't lie to anyone or keep important things from people just to make them think of me differently.

Posted by K. Lianne at 2:15 PM | Permalink | Comments

I've been having some physical and emotional troubles lately,

And, I'm pretty sure the physical troubles are leading to the emotional troubles.

See, the deal is that I've always struggled with my weight. Wait. Let's fix this. I'm fat. Basically.

I don't like it. In fact, I despise it. I don't talk about it and get offended when anyone (read: my mother) does talk about it. But I've come to the realization lately that if I don't do something now, I'll never be truly happy.

See, I'm a skinny girl under the layers of lard. I love taking long walks and shopping and playing on the floor or outside with kids, but with the extra pounds, it's hard to do all of these things. And I want to. I want to so bad.

So I got this book recently, and it's really been helping a lot.

It's about how to fix (or make better) every aspect of your life, from fitness to nutrition to spiritual needs and sleep patterns. I've read almost all of it from front to back and have a plan.

I'm not going to share the plan with you, but just know it's been working. I've been working out (even though that hasn't been going swimmingly because I've had a cold and I did something to my foot yesterday) and eating SO much better. I feel great. I feel better, and, right now, I think that's all I want ... is to feel better.

I'll keep you posted as to how it goes ... I'm sorry I'm not going more in depth about it, but I'm have issues with my weight and it's hard for me to talk about in detail. If I have success, which I really hope to, I will make sure to tell you my secrets.

Posted by K. Lianne at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm sitting here at work today, perusing the internets (for those dubya fans) and came across my horoscope:

Are you going on a trip or possibly even making a move, dear Gemini? Is education involved in some way? Whatever your reasons for going away, you're going to gain whatever you hope for and more. Writing, teaching, and anything involving communication should go very well right now - including conversations with a romantic partner! Your mind is quick and retentive, so make the most of all of it.

This hit the nail right on the head (i.e. my last post). I couldn't have asked for a more positive and calming horoscope today!

As far as the "conversations with a romantic partner": Well, not so much a romantic partner, but I do have a meeting planned tomorrow with "Mr. Inviting" tomorrow. He's been making me mad both personally and professionally (did I mention we work together?), so we're meeting. And, according to my horoscope, it will go well. Hoorah.

Posted by K. Lianne at 1:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

I've been having issues lately with moving on in my life. Several of my friends are graduating in 2 days and have been saying things such as, "I just took my last final ever." Or, "I just wrote my last paper ever." Or, "I just walked into the OC for the last time ever as a student."

Well, I just scheduled for my last semester EVER. And I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to feel when I take my last exam ever. Or how I'll feel when I'm about to graduate.

It's really a scary feeling.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm SO ready to graduate, and SO ready to move on and get a REAL job and make REAL money.

But it's still kinda scary.

Another thing that's kinda scary is that I think I'll be going back to work at "Daily Newspaper." For those of you who don't know, I interned at Daily Newspaper over the summer and then had to leave when I took my current Editor in Chief position at Weekly Newspaper.

I miss being at Daily Newspaper and I miss writing. So I called my old boss today and asked if she needed help in the winter. She was "on breaking news" and will call me back but said, "yeah, we can do that."

I know they need the help, and they love me, so why the hell wouldn't they take my *free* help.

That kind of scares me, too. I always freak out for a little while before I start working with "adults." I mean, I love Daily Newspaper and I get along with everyone and I know they love me.

But right before I start I always have anxiety that I won't be good enough for them.

That seems to be a recurring theme in my life lately.

Posted by K. Lianne at 9:33 AM | Permalink | Comments