Ground rules.
Tonight was my night out with "the girls." It was basically a disaster.
Disaster #1: left one hour and 20 minutes after scheduled departure time. We were supposed to meet at 9:30. My friend, we'll call her Ms. Conservative called at 9:27 as I was pulling in and said she wouldn't be able to make it until 9:45. She pulled up at 10:02. She was with her brother and his friend and one of her friends. They were waiting for another friend to join them, "within 5 minutes." Fifty minutes later, we finally left for the club.
Diaster #2: most of us in the crew were at least 21. But since Ms. Conservative decided to bring her little bro, we went to an 18 and up joint. Blah.
So we go, and it was cool for about the first 20 mintues. We started dancing and having fun and then, since no ground rules had been laid before the excursion, everyone started switching into their different roles.
Let me stress the IMPORTANCE of ground rule before an excursion such as this. My ground rules would go something like this:
#1. We are leaving at 10 p.m. SHARP, anyone who is late will be left behind
#2. Once we get to the 21 and over club, we will drink
#3. Once we have one drink we will DANCE. ALL OF US!
#4. Everyone will stay together in a group, having fun, dancing on the DANCE FLOOR!
#5. The club stays open until 2 a.m. Therefore no one will leave before 1 a.m.
Do these things ever happen this way? NO.
And let me tell you what happens when ground rules are not laid: PEOPLE GO INTO ROLES.
For instance:
You have the friend who just wants to have fun and dance the night away without a care: aka ME.
Then you have the friend who has had a stressful week and doesn't want to be out, so he/she stays along the edge of the dance floor watching you with eyes pleading to leave.
The other friend wanders around talking with and grinding on random guys/girls
Another friend gets worried about those not with the group and tries rounding everyone up all night and not having a good time.
And the final friend that gets WAYYY too drunk and ends up having random makeout sessions in the corner.
There may be more of these friend-types, but these were the ones present tonight.
So, basically, I had a bad night. When your friends decide to not set ground rules, everyone slips into their roles and no one has fun.
I just decided to not care and started dancing with random people...so it was a little fun. And, plus, I saw one of my employees there. Which at first was awkward, but he's a cool guy, so it was fun.
I have to say...I did have a tiny bit of fun tonight. But, firstly, ground rules should always be laid so that everyone has fun and everyone knows exactly what will happen and exactly when everyone will leave. Secondly, I should still be at the club right now (1:50 a.m.) dancing and flirting and grinding and possibly hooking up with random men. But....no one ever hooks up when everyone is on a different page and no ground rules are set.
Disaster #1: left one hour and 20 minutes after scheduled departure time. We were supposed to meet at 9:30. My friend, we'll call her Ms. Conservative called at 9:27 as I was pulling in and said she wouldn't be able to make it until 9:45. She pulled up at 10:02. She was with her brother and his friend and one of her friends. They were waiting for another friend to join them, "within 5 minutes." Fifty minutes later, we finally left for the club.
Diaster #2: most of us in the crew were at least 21. But since Ms. Conservative decided to bring her little bro, we went to an 18 and up joint. Blah.
So we go, and it was cool for about the first 20 mintues. We started dancing and having fun and then, since no ground rules had been laid before the excursion, everyone started switching into their different roles.
Let me stress the IMPORTANCE of ground rule before an excursion such as this. My ground rules would go something like this:
#1. We are leaving at 10 p.m. SHARP, anyone who is late will be left behind
#2. Once we get to the 21 and over club, we will drink
#3. Once we have one drink we will DANCE. ALL OF US!
#4. Everyone will stay together in a group, having fun, dancing on the DANCE FLOOR!
#5. The club stays open until 2 a.m. Therefore no one will leave before 1 a.m.
Do these things ever happen this way? NO.
And let me tell you what happens when ground rules are not laid: PEOPLE GO INTO ROLES.
For instance:
You have the friend who just wants to have fun and dance the night away without a care: aka ME.
Then you have the friend who has had a stressful week and doesn't want to be out, so he/she stays along the edge of the dance floor watching you with eyes pleading to leave.
The other friend wanders around talking with and grinding on random guys/girls
Another friend gets worried about those not with the group and tries rounding everyone up all night and not having a good time.
And the final friend that gets WAYYY too drunk and ends up having random makeout sessions in the corner.
There may be more of these friend-types, but these were the ones present tonight.
So, basically, I had a bad night. When your friends decide to not set ground rules, everyone slips into their roles and no one has fun.
I just decided to not care and started dancing with random people...so it was a little fun. And, plus, I saw one of my employees there. Which at first was awkward, but he's a cool guy, so it was fun.
I have to say...I did have a tiny bit of fun tonight. But, firstly, ground rules should always be laid so that everyone has fun and everyone knows exactly what will happen and exactly when everyone will leave. Secondly, I should still be at the club right now (1:50 a.m.) dancing and flirting and grinding and possibly hooking up with random men. But....no one ever hooks up when everyone is on a different page and no ground rules are set.
Ground rules sound like a great idea.
Posted by
NotCarrie |
10:09 PM
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